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I’d like to close this chapter on a positive note, showing that sometimes participating in your kids’ lives can be worthwhile. Let me tell you about a nice outing I recently had with So

I don’t understand the guy who denies that he snores. I’m sorry to say that Kimmel is one of them. What do I stand to gain by accusing you of snoring? The whole interaction is uncomfortable. Why would I lie? Do you think I’m a perv that gets some sort of sexual gratification by making people think they have sleep apnea? What kind of sadistic maniac would you have to be to tell someone who lay there motionless all night, like Michael Jackson in the waning moments of his life, when he woke up, “Hey, man, you were snoring last night. I couldn’t get any sleep.” I said it because it’s true. Whether it’s snoring, halitosis or the piece of parsley stuck in your teeth, when someone musters the courage to tell you an uncomfortable truth, believe it.

Anyway, whether he wants to believe it or not, So

This whole event takes place on an active military base, so there are badges and wristbands and all those sorts of things involved. The guy who runs the vintage-race portion of the weekend’s events said he could come by and get my signature early, since he would be at the track before us, so we wouldn’t have as many hoops to jump through when So

Anyway, I saw the clock next to the bed and noticed that it was past six and my guy still hadn’t shown up. I was getting to the end of my nap window. If I didn’t go down now, it would be too late to bother taking a nap. Now I could still grab a good twenty-five, wake up, watch SportsCenter, have a beer and get back to bed at a reasonable hour, so I would be able get up at seven the next morning to drive to another hellhole… this one called Whittier.

I told Lynette, “I’ve got a guy coming by to drop off some stuff. It’s six forty-five; he was supposed to be here at six. I’m going to crash. Just tell him to drop off whatever he needs to.” I then napped and woke up twenty-five minutes later, as pla

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