Страница 30

ELEVEN

So now I have no promotion and no boyfriend. And puffy eyes from crying. And everyone

thinks I'm mad.

'You're mad,' Jemima says, approximately every ten minutes. It's Saturday morning, and we're

in our usual routine of dressing gowns, coffee, and nursing hangovers. Or in my case, breakups.

'You do realize you had him?' She frowns at her toenail, which she's painting baby pink.

'I would have predicted a rock on your finger within six months.'

'I thought you said I'd ruined all my chances by agreeing to move in with him,' I retort sulkily.

'Well, in Co

'You're crazy.'

'Do you think I'm crazy?' I say, turning to Lissy, who's sitting in the rocking chair with her

arm round her knees, eating a piece of raisin toast. 'Be honest.'

'Er… no,' says Lissy unconvincingly. 'Of course not!'

'You do!'

'It's just… you seemed like such a great couple.'

'I know we did. I know we looked great on the outside.' I pause, trying to explain. 'But the

truth is, I never felt I was being myself. It was always a bit like we were acting. You know. It

didn't seem real, somehow.'

'That's it?' interrupts Jemima, staring at me as though I'm talking gibberish. 'That's the reason

you broke up?'

'It's a pretty good reason, don't you think?' says Lissy loyally.

Jemima stares at us both blankly.

'Of course not! Emma, if you'd just stuck it out and acted being the perfect couple for long

enough, you would have become the perfect couple.'

'But… but we wouldn't have been happy!'

'You would have been the perfect couple,' says Jemima, as though explaining something to a

very stupid child.' Obviously you would have been happy.' She cautiously stands up, her toes

splayed by bits of pink foam, and starts making her way towards the door. 'And anyway.

Everyone pretends in a relationship.'

'No they don't! Or at least, they shouldn't.'

'Of course they should! All this being honest with each other is totally overrated.' She gives us

a knowing look. 'My mother's been married to my father for thirty years, and he still has no

idea she isn't a natural blonde.'

She disappears out of the room and I exchange glances with Lissy.

'Do you think she's right?' I say.

'No,' says Lissy uncertainly. 'Of course not! Relationships should be built on… on trust…

and truth…' She pauses, and looks at me anxiously. 'Emma, you never told me you felt that

way about Co

'I… didn't tell anyone.'

This isn't quite true, I immediately realize. But I'm hardly going to tell my best friend that I

told more to a complete stranger than to her, am I?

'Well, I really wish you'd confided in me more,' says Lissy earnestly. 'Emma, let's make a new

resolution. We'll tell each other everything from now on. We shouldn't have secrets from one

another, anyway. We're best friends!'

'It's a deal!' I say, with a sudden warm burst of emotion. Impulsively I lean forward and give

her a hug.

Lissy's so right. We should confide in each other. We shouldn't keep things from each other. I

mean, we've known each other for over twenty years, for God's sake.

'So, if we're telling each other everything…' Lissy takes a bite of raisin toast and gives me a

sidelong look. 'Did your chucking Co

the plane?'

I feel a tiny pang inside which I ignore by taking a sip of coffee.

Did it have anything to do with him? No. No, it didn't.

'No,' I say without looking up. 'Nothing.'

We both watch the television screen for a few moments, where Kylie Minogue is being

interviewed.