Страница 72

'I've never worn any of the ties my mother has given me for Christmas. I've always wanted to

be an inch or two taller than I am. I… I don't know what co-dependent means. I have a

recurring dream in which I'm Superman, falling from the sky. I sometimes sit in board

meetings and look around and think "Who the hell are these guys?"'

He draws breath and gazes at me. His eyes are darker than I've ever seen them.

'I met a girl on a plane. And… my whole life changed as a result.'

Something hot is welling up inside me. My throat is tight, my whole head aching. I'm trying

so hard not to cry, but my face is contorting all by itself.

'Jack,' I swallow desperately. 'I didn't… I really didn't…'

'I know,' he cuts me off with a nod. 'I know you didn't.'

'I would never-'

'I know you wouldn't,' he says gently. 'I know you wouldn't.'

And now I can't help it, tears start flooding out of my eyes in sheer relief. He knows. It's OK.

'So…' I wipe my face, trying to gain control of myself. 'So does this… does this mean…

that we I can't bring myself to say the words.

There's a long, unbearable silence.

If he says no, I don't know what I'll do.

'Well, you might want to hold back on your decision,' says Jack at last, and gives me a

deadpan look. 'Because I have a lot more to tell you. And it isn't all pretty.'

I give a shaky laugh.

'You don't have to tell me anything.'

'Oh, I do,' says Jack firmly. 'I think I do. Shall we walk?' He gestures to the courtyard.

'Because this could take some time.'

'OK,' I say, my voice still wobbling a bit. Jack holds out an arm, and after a pause, I take it.

'So… where was I?' he says, as we step down into the courtyard. 'Oh, OK. Now this you

really can't tell anybody.' He leans close and lowers his voice. 'I don't actually like Panther

Cola. I prefer Pepsi.'

'No!'I say, shocked.

'In fact, sometimes I decant Pepsi into a Panther can-'

'No!' I give a snort of laughter.