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These snarky T-shirts are all the rage these days, and not just on kids. At one point, Kimmel’s brother-in-law decided to start an online T-shirt company. He was one of those guys you’d see constantly rocking that “No Fear” gear, so of course he decided he needed to get into the douchewear game. He very proudly pulled me aside one day to show me his latest T-shirt. It said “Scars Heal, Losing Doesn’t.” I smiled politely but then had to inform him, “But scars don’t heal. Wounds heal and leave scars. Scars are the permanent thing that is left behind. Scars never heal. I still have a scar from a vaccination in 1964.” There was a prolonged pause of stu

When I was on Loveline, a listener once sent me a T-shirt that read “Masturbation Is Not a Crime.” I brought it home and did what I do with all the shit people send me (sorry, fans). I put it in a pile to give to the housekeeper. The problem was that my non-English-speaking maid’s non-English-speaking husband wore it to work one day and got fired.

This attitude pandemic has really affected So

This kind of behavior started early with So

I’m also considered a monster for not hoisting him on my shoulders and celebrating his “home run.” It was not a home run. Yes, So

I don’t think any of this helped So

Kids hit the field today, in whatever sport, thinking they know everything there is to know. They don’t even want to hear any direction or coaching. Another time, when So

Things really went into overdrive when So