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Conclusion: To So

AS YOU KNOW by now, I was raised in an environment where success wasn’t an option. Yet somehow, I broke the pattern of merely getting by and have a life I enjoy and am proud of. I think this is due, in large part, to surrounding myself with successful people. The ingrained mind-set I had to fight against came into sharp focus when I was with Jimmy Kimmel doing some media. Around season two of The Man Show, we sat down for a behind-the-scenes interview for 20/20. The woman who was interviewing us asked me, “Did you ever have any idea that you’d have this kind of success?” I said, “No. I’m a guy from the Valley who swung hammers and dug ditches. I would’ve been happy just writing jokes for someone else. I never imagined being in front of the camera, having writers and a staff or a big set.” It was true. I would have been happy just being the guy who built the set. She then asked Jimmy the same question about our success. And he said, “I’m surprised it took this long.” The interviewer laughed like it was a joke, but Jimmy was dead serious. He was twenty-seven at the time, but he thought he should have been on television at twenty-two. It’s a good way to think. When you have that kind of vision, you’ll be much more likely to make it happen.

So, So

People will come out of the woodwork that you don’t even have a co

Be prepared. Once you’re successful, chances are that you’re going to be called a one-percenter, someone who hangs out on a yacht with Mitt Romney, doesn’t pay their fair share of taxes and kills seals. People will assume you had everything handed to you because of white privilege. All of this will make you a target for bullshit lawsuits from people who want to take you down to bring themselves up. As I’m writing this book I’m out six hundred fifty thousand in legal fees, having just fought off patent trolls who sued me and other podcasters for no reason other than to make money off work they did not do. I was a target simply for being successful.

But I know that, like many of my other pieces of advice, you may not heed this one, and either by luck or out of spite become successful. So, kids (and readers), if you want to measure it out and see if you’ve truly made it or not, go through the checklist below and see where you fall.